Over the last few weeks I have been having a lot of conversations about parenting. These conversation have ranged from toddlers, to pre-teens and into the early 20’s, so children of all ages. Personally I found parenting an extremely hard job because there are so many things at stake here. You have to manage your own roles and responsibilities, your own feelings and emotions and support another person through theirs as well. It is a complicated process and involves so many different sorts of interferences, good and bad.
As my childern grew up and caused me heart ache, I used to think back and try to work out how I was at that age. If it is the early years ask others who knew you back then and ask them what you were like because let’s face it they have a lot of similar genes to you. Once we understand more about the behaviour then we can understand our children better and support them more effectively. At the end of the day you are you, they are their own person and we can only teach them, guide them, influence them so much through life. The rest they have to do themselves.
I’m afraid I have no magic answer to stree free parenting. Anyone who says it is easy may not being emotionally involved with their children. May be they are not taking this roles responsbility or perhaps they are just not being honest with you or themselves. However, what I do know is to be honest with yourself, listen to your children, talk to them, love them, let them know they are loved and that they are safe. When your children get older ask them what they want of you in fractious times. When there are a lot of emotions flying around we can all go off in a mood and it can be very difficult to start making amends but as adults we need to make the first move in repairing relationships with our children.
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