Co-Parenting with a TOXIC EX | Kati Morton



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PRE-ORDER MY BOOK NOW! http://bit.ly/2s0mULyResearch by child development experts has demonstrated numerous benefits to children when they feel supported by both parents. One reason is that parents who co-parent tend to experience lower conflict than those who have sole custody arrangements. Studies show that conflict is what creates the most pain and anguish for children after their parents split, and that keeping parental disagreements to a minimum is a key aspect of helping kids become resilient. For that reason, parents who cannot get along with one another, try to force their children to take sides, or talk badly about the other parent in front of their children simply cannot coparent. Coparenting is defined as: a parenting situation where the parents are not in a marriage, cohabitation, or romantic relationship with one another, and both parents take care of their children. The term ‘co-parent’ may also be used to describe a situation where, following divorce or separation, the child’s parents seek to maintain equal or equivalent responsibility for the child’s upbringing.
Many parents, just like the person who asked this question, try and try to communicate with their ex so they can figure out how to do what’s best for the children. But their ex isn’t able to work with them, or the breakup was too volatile for either to imagine working together ever again, even for the sake of their children. Luckily there is another option. It’s called Parallel parenting! Parenting expert Dr. Edward Kruk describes it as “an arrangement in which divorced parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other, and having limited direct contact, in situations where they have demonstrated that they are unable to communicate with each other in a respectful manner.” I like to think of it as having healthy and very necessary boundaries around the relationship and parenting. But what this means in practice is 1. all communication must be non-personal and business-like in nature and relate to information relevant to your children’s well-being. 2. Parents never use their children as messengers to communicate back and forth. 3. No changes to the schedule are made without written agreement. 4. No personal information is shared with the other parent in any form. 5. To minimize conflict, schedules are shared via a calendar or in writing. My video with Jason: https://youtu.be/4hsiTnMtifYTry​ ​BetterHelp:​ http://tryonlinetherapy.com/katimorton
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